A lousy week, a bad year

I had a hard week...

Had some feud with people I love...

had a 'great' time at school...

And suddenly I lost the will to just do anything...

I am not usually like this,,, I dont sit and laze around.

In my free time, I

1.Write
2.Google some interesting facts on the net like finding out how people in Timbuktu lives
3. I run, like work-out la

but I dont know... It started with one thing, i mean one problem...

and then my mind mysteriously raked all past disappointments (which I had pushed back waaaaaaaaaay down in self-loathing pool inside my brain) back up...

things like

1. How could I have stopped writing for over a year
2. How could i gained like 16 kg in just one year
3. How I couldn't run like 2 km as though its nothing anymore...

It gets to me man...

If i have used that year wisely, I would still maintain my stamina, and I would have thousands of short stories to rewrite...

but I have none... but i have lots of fat...

so today... i tried to create a timetable for myself

woke up early

took my breakfast (at this point, i was impressed at myself)

didnt eat at all in school

Used a new method to teach today (and magically everyone actually did their work quietly)

Went back home, did some weights (pulled a muscle at the back of my hip, painful till now)

and started to continue writing, managed a thousand words today

went for a jog, couldnt do more than 2oo meters, was breathing like a wheezy old guy on his deathbed,

went back home and wallow in self pity...

When i think back...

I didnt only had a lousy week

I had a bad year...

but hey, the year hasn't ended

and even though the government sees fit to not take me up for a job they had been training me for...

and i have my graduation to look up to...

and a date... (Blush)

so...

I just have to get off my ass, and do something!

I need to survive, and I dont want to die of heart attack at 26...

Hopefully i will stick on my routine this time...