Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Lemony Snicket once describe the surprise of death of a loved one so accurately that I feel obliged to share it here; You know when you are walking up the stairs? You step your feet confidently one by one expecting there will always be a step after another, but suddenly one of the steps is missing, and you fell, with the shock and the horrible sinking feeling in you tummy that would never end - that is how death is, it'll fill you with horrible, horrible surprise that would never end.

A friend's father died two days ago, he was SO young, it was a sudden death and there - I said sudden, it was a shock beyond anything. I could not, I could never wrapped my brain around that idea, losing a parent - I would never understand that, and that is what grieves me - I cannot imagine what my friend is going through, I wanted to understand - but I just cant.

This is one of those times when people say that we should feel the empathy - to put oneself in other's shoes and experienced their pain - believe me, This, is not one of the times.

When you lose a person to death, you are not only losing him, you are losing the IDEA of him, his presence, his idiosyncrasies, himself, and that is what pains me. My friend is one of those people who are VERY attached to his family, and I know he feels the pain thousand times more than I do, and that pains me too.

A few months ago, another friend of mine lost his father, his father have been sick for quite a long time and his father died in front of him, while he was nursing him. His mother died a few years ago and now both of his parents had died - now, this is another idea that my brain just cannot comprehend, I felt sad for my friend but that was just about it.

Scores of my classmates attended my friend's house for the funeral but none of us - none - knows what to say to him, the idea is too alien and I am really, really, really sorry that my friends have to experience it.

Al-Fatihah for
Allahyarham Bakry bin Abu Bakar
Condolences to his Family
and my friend.

and to everyone who have lost their loved ones


  1. al-fatihah means condolence? yeah, no words can describe the pain of loosing someone. life is just so unpredictable. man, only when death comes, then other things material things seem so insignifacant. may Ed's dad rests in peace...

  2. Lucy, al-fatihah is a name of a verse in Quran, we read for them who died...

  3. speechless,nothing i will like to say here

  4. kalo da tak taw... tak payah la cakap...

  5. i agree with u..sometimes we cannot put ourselves in the person's shoes to feel how they feel reght at the moment.I was there too.As friends, we showed our the value of our friendship that day by giving him moral support.We all have been together for four years.This is how we share nad care for the others.